A Letter to Augustus Waters

by Devika Aji

“You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

Dear Augustus Waters,

I am a shitty person and a shitty writer; you were a good person and a good writer. I think we’d never have made a good team XD.

Oh, how wrong all of us readers were about you and how quick we were to misjudge you. Underneath that rug of overconfidence and a confident demeanor resided vulnerability and insecurity, which became conspicuous as your health deteriorated due to cancer. Vulnerability makes you stronger. You were very aware that you were surviving on borrowed time; you intended to live it in the grandest way possible, and in the face of mortality, you emerged stronger.

Hazel Grace saw right through your person-suit; calling you Gus instead of the majestic Augustus. You did not have to perform anything with her; she loved all of you, all parts, without any ifs and buts. Perhaps your love for Hazel taught you it's okay to be Gus instead of hiding behind that confident, cocky, charming Augustus Waters. And perhaps loving somebody is the greatest legacy you can claim to be yours.

You will always be remembered; wasn’t that what you wanted all along? You never wanted pity or sympathy, but comprehension and is it not what we humans want all along, the desire to be understood and loved for who we are, not despite our shortcomings and flaws but because of it?

Time is universal and all-encompassing, just like your surname, 'Waters'. It serves as the cohesive canvas upon which our growth, development, and peak moments are painted, yet it also acts as the relentless force that leads to our eventual decline, wilting, and inevitable mortality.

“Pain demands to be felt,” and yes we all felt that.

Fear not, dear Augustus Waters; as long as those who have read your story and your eulogy to Hazel exist, your legacy endures in their memories and hearts. You showed us that, even when the symphony of life takes an unexpected turn, one can create harmony amidst the discord, an echo in humanity's apparent meaningless and doomed fate.

Yours lovingly,

Devika

Editor's Insight: Here's a song that reminds me of the book 'The Fault in Our Stars'. Enjoy while I sob, listening to it once again.